My twins

Luke and Ally are in a fascinating developmental stage.  Sometimes they seem so mature, like they fully understand bigger concepts, and then other times it's obvious that they're still a couple years past being toddlers.

Ally has been obsessed with "getting dead" for the last month or so.  She's asked me several questions times, "Do it hurt when you get dead?"

She was initially worried about dying herself.  I tried to comfort her by explaining that most people don't die until they're much, much older.  This led to her worrying that her grandparents would die, so I comforted her by explaining that my own grandmas lived so long that I had kids before she passed away.  I failed to see that this would make her worry that her having kids would make her own grandparents die.

Having overheard much of the conversations I had with Ally, Luke asked me one night, as he was snuggled into his bed, "Will you be dead when I'm a grown up?"  I thought he'd asked, Will you be sad when I'm a grown up?  So I answered, "I might be, but I'll also be happy that you're happy."  Tears burst out of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks.  Just remembering it makes me tear up even now, almost two weeks later.  I finally figured out what was going on, and I comforted him that I would do my very best to live with him as long as I could.

On a less depressing note, they've begun to get interested in outer space as well.  One time Ally asked, "Will we ever go into outer space?"  I paused to think about this, "Hmmm."  Then Luke jumped in with an answer, "Ally, we is in outer space, because the world is in outer space!"

They're also developing other interests.  Luke has begun to have little collections.  He used to keep anything he liked in his "safe drawer" in his room, but now he's specializing.  He's keeping marbles and... those little cards that come in magazines that you can fill out and send in to get a subscription.  He loves them.

Ally told me in the car one day on the way home from Trader Joe's that she was going to save her fruit leather she'd gotten and add it into her valentine box, where she's also added her Easter candy.  She explained she was collecting sweets.  Luke said, "Oh, yes, Ally!  Like I collect my cards and my marbles."

"And I'm collecting kids," I joked.

Luke told me I couldn't collect more kids.

"Why not?" I asked.

He told me I had to wait until the big girls were old enough to have babies.

I said I didn't mind waiting.  Then he shook his head and told me that wasn't going to happen.

"The big girls aren't going to have kids?" I asked.

"Did you forget about the Fountain of 'Youse'?"

I laughed and said that I guess he was right.  When we were in Florida, all the kids drank from the Fountain of Youth.

Ally exclaimed, "No, Lukey!  That's not true!  Daddy said him drank from the Fountain of 'Youse' when he was a kid, and now he's not a kid.  It doesn't work!"

So many days lately it's occurred to me how fun it is to spend the mornings with my twins.  I haven't even let myself think too much about how much I'm going to miss them when they're in school all day next year.

Love and Logic classes, in the eyes of 4-year-olds

Luke and Ally and I were waiting for their bus yesterday.  We'd almost missed it.  I was all wrapped up in other things and not paying attention to the time.

Luke made the comment, "You don't want us to miss the bus and have to bring us to school late!"

I said, "Right, because I have to get the groceries put away, and then I have to go and teach."

"Are you teaching us?" he asked.

"No, honey," I explained, "I'm teaching Love and Logic.  I'm teaching moms."

"What do you teach them?"

"Well, I teach them how to be the best moms they can be."

"Because some mommies aren't good mommies?" asked Ally.

"No, they're good mommies.  They just want to learn how to be even better."

"Do they yell?" asked Ally again.

"Well, some mom get frustrated and yell, but I try to teach them other things..."

"Oh," Luke said, as he and Ally exchanged an understanding look, "You teach mean mommies."

Spring break

We went to Florida for spring break.

We stopped at the Louisville Slugger museum and factory for a tour on the way.

When we finally arrived in Florida we found a statue of Winter, our favorite Dolphin!

We went to the Castillo de San Marcos when we got to St. Augustine.

 We went on a boat tour to look for dolphins.  We saw a lot!

 We took in the sights of St. Augustine.

Hitting the beach!

Going out to eat.

We toured Ponce de Leon's fountain of youth.

More time at the beach!

We went back to the Castillo.

We toured the San Sebastian winery!

On the way home from Florida, we stopped to tour Mammoth Cave.

No more brothers

The last couple months, I really started to miss having a baby.  Then a couple weeks ago, I began to try to talk Dave into adopting.  (If you'd told me when the twins were 3 months old that I'd be trying to add another baby to the family, I would have laughed in your face.)

Dave adamantly told me there would be no more kids in our family, and, after a few tears, I, too, dismissed my idea.

A few days later, we were out to dinner.  Kate commented on how much she loved Luke.  I said to Kate, looking at Dave to tease him, "Wouldn't it be nice to have another brother."

Kate said it would, and Dave scowled a little.

I said, "What about you, Anna?  Would you like another brother?"

Then Dave interrupted, "Anna, would you like another brother or a daddy?"

Anna thought for a moment and answered, "Brother."

Dave gave Anna a little pout.

"Well," she explained, "I don't need two Daddies."

Knock, knock

Ally told a joke at dinner last night.

"Knock, knock," she said.
"Who's there?" Dave piped in.
She replied, "A f*cking bird."

Dead silence.

I got out of my chair without a word, walked over and picked her up saying, "Let's go talk a minute."

I carried her into the living room and sat down with her on the chair.

There was an incident in a parking lot in St. Augustine last week.  We'd been driving around for at least 15 minutes trying to get a parking spot.  (The city has a severe shortage of parking.)  Finally I got out of the van to ask someone if they were leaving.  I came back and had one leg back in the car when Dave's foot somehow slipped off the break.  Half my body jerked forward with the car while the other foot was planted firmly on the pavement.   My nerves already frayed, I let out a big, "F*cking A, Dave!"

I pulled my other leg into the car and took some deep breaths to calm down, when I hear Ally giggling in the back, "Funking A, Luke!" she said.  I cringed, but I didn't have the energy to react.  She said it again, "Hey, Luke!  Funking A!"

Then I heard Anna help out, "No, Ally.  It's f*cking A"

I took an extra big breath then turned around in the seat.  I explained that I'd lost my temper and, just like sometimes they yell or say something mean when they're mad, I said a word I shouldn't have said.  That word isn't a nice word.  We shouldn't say it.

Which brings me back to the conversation with Ally in the living room.  I asked her why she said that word.  She said, "I was trying to be funny."

I told her that word isn't funny; it's not a nice word.  She looked a little confused, so I continued telling her how I have to learn how to control what words I say.  I asked her if she could help me.  She still looked a little confused as I asked her to help me brainstorm ways how I could remember to use only nice words.  Then I concluded by thanking her for her help with my words and added, "...and I know you'll also help me by only using nice words yourself, too."  She nodded.

We went back in and finished dinner.  As we were cleaning up Luke said, "Knock, knock."

Oh, Lord, please... I tentatively asked, "Who's there?"

"Coppin horse," he said with a big smile.

What?  "Coppin horse...?" I asked.

"NEIGH!" he yelled.

"Oh!" I said, suddenly understanding, "Interrupting horse."

"Yeah," he said, still smiling, "Interrupting horse."

And, that's when I realized what Ally had probably been thinking.

She remembered learning a joke last week.  I can picture her little head thinking, "I'm not going to go with the classic cow or even horse.  I'm going to change it up and say bird this time.  So, what kind of bird would that be?  What was that word again... was it 'ruppin'? 'Topin'?  No, that wasn't it.  Oh, yeah, I think it was 'f*cking'!"

Then, quite proud of her joke, she began, "Knock, knock."

Gettles

A couple weeks ago, Luke was standing in the bath waiting for me to get his towel.  He commented, "It feels like there are balls in here." I wondered if he was talking about one of the empty bottles I let them bring in the tub.  I looked over and saw him reaching in between his legs, his head down checking things out.

Sometimes it's just unfair!  Why would God make four-year-olds so darn funny but make the same little creatures get hurt feelings if you laugh at things like that.  Come on!

So, I had to pretend to drop the towel, so he couldn't see my face while I regain my composure enough to matter-of-factly explain, "Yeah, those are called testicles."

Then Ally began to reach between her legs to find her testicles.  (Again, I ask if this is fair?)  I bit my bottom lip for a moment and told her.  "Only boys have testicles.  They come with their penises.  You have your vagina instead."

A few days later, Luke took a break in the middle of getting dressed, and he was walking around playing with his newly discovered "toys."  I mentioned how it's not really polite to walk around touching himself.

"Oh, no, mommy," he said, clearing things up, "I'm just touching my 'gettles.'"

Yum.

"Here, Ally.  Try my kind. It's yum!"

Things I forget to pack

Luke walked into the room and declared, "I need some ink so I can write with this."

"Oh, Buddy, I don't think we have any ink."

His brow furrowed and he accusingly questioned, "Why you didn't bring a bottle of ink!?"

He later found a different purpose for the feather.