Two-steps back

I started this post almost two weeks ago, but because of the way things were going, I didn't find a chance to complete it until today.

The last 24 hours has definitely a "one-step forward, two-steps back" day.  Yesterday, I really wanted to get some things done.  Dave had to go somewhere, so it was just me and the kids, but for my own mental health, I needed to check a couple things off my To Do list.

I put the twins down for a nap and decided to let Kate and Anna play outside while I cleaned out the van.  I grabbed my keys and headed outside.  When I got out there, the neighbors were all hanging out next door.  I set the keys on top of the van thinking, "This wouldn't be smart, but I can't get in the van without the keys, so I'll definitely remember to grab them."

The kids played and I talked for a while, then we came back and cleaned the van.  Kate and Anna helped me.  It didn't take very long and it looked great!  I felt like I'd accomplished something.

Then we headed inside to clean out the fish tank.  All the fish had died for some unknown reason.  I'd promised the kids new ones, but first we had to empty the twenty gallons of water, wash the tank, and then refill it.  I dug into the recyclables for some empty milk and juice cartons, and we began to suck the water out of the tank and into the cartons.  The girls ran the cartons of out the front door to dump them outside.  The water would come too quickly for them to keep up and I'd have to stop the syphon and try to restart it, which wasn't easy, so they were rushing.  They'd spilled so much water on the floor that Kate slipped backwards and hurt herself.  It was rough, but we finally finished.  Then I cleaned the floor, grossing out about the "fish poop water" on my floor.

Once it was empty, I hauled the heavy tank into the kitchen where I washed it thoroughly to kill any disease the fish might have had, then washed out the pebbles, rocks, and fake plants, and finally hauled it all back.

Then we began the process of refilling the tank, a half gallon or so at a time, and getting the rocks and plants set up with my cold, numb hands from the two-and-a-half feet deep freezing cold Lake Michigan water.  When we were finally done, I cleaned the floor again, grateful it was clean water spilled all over this time, and we changed socks.  The twins woke from their naps so I popped them in their high chairs for a snack, while I started a load of sopping towels in the wash machine.

As the kids and I admired the newly set up fish tank, Kate spotted the crack.  About two inches wide, visibly growing as we watched.  I must have cracked it when trying to set the heavy tank on the sink.

We began the process of emptying the twenty gallons of water again, this time with toddlers helping.  Their help primarily consisted of trying to grab the cartons of water and escaping out the front door where the we were dumping the water.

When we finally finished and I'd cleaned the floor a third time, I was so frustrated to think all I still had to deconstructing the tank, dry the salvageable pieces and stick them in storage.  But, I was relieved to know all this fish nonsense was finally over.  I took the cracked tank as a sign (along with the 10 or so dead fish over the course of the last month) that made this decision completely obvious.

Dave got home just as we finished.  I was so exhausted.  I said, "Change your clothes; we're going out for dinner."

"What?" he protested, "All of us?"

"Yes, I need to get out of here."

We loaded the van, and headed to Noodles and Company.  At dinner, I began to explain to the kids that we were going to take a break from pet fish when Dave said, "We can buy another fish tank."  So much for my silver lining.

Still, after dinner, I felt much better... until we got home and I hung my purse on the hook where my keys usually are.

"Oh, noooooo," I groaned, a sick feeling in my chest.  Dave asked what was wrong, and I could barely tell him.

We spent the night taking turns walking our driveway and block with flashlights and driving the route to Noodles and Company.

The next morning, I popped the kids in the triple stroller and went looking for the keys.  When we arrived home, I hadn't found the keys, but we had lost Ally's shoe.

Nobody move...

Nobody breathe...

I realized about three minutes ago that, although all my kids are all awake, no one is crying, arguing, whining, or even asking for anything.  I stood there for a moment, thinking I should probably get them start the art project I'd planned to do today, and then I thought, "Nah, I'm going to go blog for a few minutes."

I sat down and Kate asked me for a snack.  Quick fix, and I'm right back in my own (however fleeting) utopia.

I'm still not sure I believe it myself

I used to always have some baked good in the house.  I felt it was my duty as a mother.  Unfortunately, I also took it upon myself to make sure to eat the baked goods... often a couple times a day.

Since I found myself enlarging after weaning the twins, I significantly cut down on my baking.  But, there are definitely days I want a sweet treat.  But, how can I have just one piece of cake without having the rest of the cake lying around begging to be eaten?

I discovered microwavable cakes in a mug on Pinterest.  But, what was the chance you could microwave a cake?  Gross.  I generally restrict my microwave use to heating up water, reheating food, and popping popcorn.

I'll just ate this coffee cake... and my words.

Coffee Cake in a Mug

Makes 1 mug

Cake

1 Tbsp butter or Earth's Balance

2 tbsp sugar

2 tbsp applesauce

vanilla, few drops

1/4 cup All Purpose flour

1/8 tsp baking powder

pinch of salt

Streussel

1/2 tbsp butter or Earth's Balance

2 tbsp flour

1 tbsp brown sugar

1/4 tsp cinnamon

In a mug soften 1 tbsp of butter in microwave. Stir in sugar and mix. Stir in applesauce, vanilla, flour, baking powder, and pinch of salt.  Stir until just combined. Smooth it out in the bottom of the mug.

In a separate, small bowl, combine 1 tbsp of butter, 2 tbsp of flour, brown sugar, and cinnamon. Mix the butter and with the other ingredients. When all ingredients are combined, pour on top of cake batter in mug.

Cook in the  microwave for about a minute depending on your microwave.  Enjoy warm!

Sharing at Baby Story Time

Luke and Ally have Baby Story Time at the library on Thursdays, and the librarian lets Anna come along.  Last Thursday was the last day of the session, and the librarian asked the parents, "Do any of you have any parenting tips you want to share? Maybe favorite places to go with your babies?"  No one responded, so we sang some songs with the babies.  Later, she asked again, "So, has anyone thought of anything you wanted to share?  Maybe you have a favorite place you like to go?"  Before she could quite finish the word "go," Anna, who must have been waiting since the last time she asked, yelled, "Florida!"  Everyone laughed, and the librarian said, "I like Florida, too, Anna.  I think we should plan a field trip."

It's the little things

It is the little things.  They can make or break your day.

The smile on Ally's face when she knows she's funny...  Anna's laugh when she swings so high she thinks she just went over the top...  Those things make my day.

The damn fish dying again.... for no reason.... when I did everything right... That is breaking my day...breaking me today.

I'm sitting here sick with a rotten cold and clogged sinuses, and I'm watching my fish drop like... guppies.  We flushed one yesterday, one this morning, and there are two more just floating on the bottom, all but dead.  Jewel the Third is still swimming around, but with red spots all over her, like she's bleeding internally.  I just got off the phone with Hoffer's pet store, holding back tears explaining that they're all going to die, that my kids have lost countless fish this week, asking them what the hell I could have done wrong.

I hate having fish.  Why must my kids like fish so much?

And, I never even told you about the one who kamikazed to his death out of the old tank, my nightmare coming to life.  Thank God it was Dave who found that one.  The mere thought of it has given me anxiety attacks.

Stupid, stupid fish tanks.

He's just so handsome...

...we're not sure he's ours.

Going through the pictures on the camera, I said to Dave, "Look at this picture.  Isn't he just so cute?"

Dave replied, "He really is a cute baby."

"I don't understand how we got such a cute kid," I gushed.

Dave responded, "I'm convinced they switched the embryos."

"He's ours," I laughed, "why else would he be so tiny?  And he's got a reddish tint to his hair, and..."

"Nope," Dave interrupted, "there's someone out there with a red haired girl, wondering how they got a red-haired baby."

"Yeah," I conceded, "there's someone out there with a moody red-haired girl."

Play-doh

I had a love/hate relationship with Play-doh.

And then my love/hate relationship with Play-doh just became a tolerate/hate relationship.

Ni nite

Like her mommy, Ally loves her sleep.  On mornings when she's awoken when Luke wakes up, she is exhausted by midmorning.  If I so much as mention taking a nap, she'll nod and confirm, "Ni nite." Then she'll head over to the stairs and wait for me.  If I don't come soon, she'll rest on the steps.

Yoga tots

I'd read about yoga for toddlers, so I just tried to do some yoga with Anna and Luke. First Anna was enjoying it, although Luke kept crawling under me every time we went from a cow to a cat. Then when we went into downward dog, Anna began barking and, while still in the basic position, running through the house. I wouldn't have thought that possible.  Luke then got up into a downward dog and followed her. It was definitely the most I've ever laughed practicing yoga.

Letting go

This is my pile of clothes to donate to friends and Goodwill because Luke and Ally have outgrown them.

I'm having a really hard time letting go of the two outfits on top. I'm trying to tell myself it's no big deal because they weren't actually ours to begin with, but hand-me-downs from my friend's twins. It's not helping. What's bothering me most, I think, is there's not another set of boy/girl twins to pass them down to. They're going to be separated! That's tragic! (I'm only half kidding.)

Epilogue
I sent a link to this post to my friend whose twins first wore these outfits.  I thought she'd laugh.  Instead she replied, "This is making me depressed.  Sell them on eBay so they aren't separated!  Or list them for free on eBay!"  My eyes teared up as I smiled at her response.  Mothers get so attached to some of their children's clothes.

Snot nosed brats

They're not brats, of course, but I thought the title was just slightly too clever to pass up.

We keep the tissue box up high, but I bumped it down when bringing in groceries.  In the two minutes it took me to grab another load of groceries...

"Oh, you're taking my picture?  I can smile for you."

Luke:  "Ooh, can I get one.  My nose is a little runny."

She's growing up

Well, she's growing up.  I knew the day was coming where she'd be too old to have a picture of her naked butt hanging in the bathroom that company uses.  But, I hadn't thought the day was here yet.

I was in the kitchen getting the twins a snack.  Kate had just arrived home with a play date and the two of them were going to wash their hands.  I heard her play date, Wesley (yes, a boy no less) say, "What's that?"

And just like that I knew to what he was referring.  I paused, literally frozen, holding even my breath.  In that split second before Kate replied, I pictured the worst.  I thought of how embarrassing this must be for her.  I thought of how Wesley would go home and report to his mother that he saw a naked picture of Kate.  My stomach sank.  What if this got back to the kids at school?  I remembered Dave begging me years ago not to put that picture up, and me arguing it was just too adorable.  Why am I so stubborn?

Kate replied, "Oh, that!  My mom took a picture of me and Anna with our bottoms out and hung it on the wall!"  I couldn't see her, but I could just picture her eyes rolling and her head shaking ever so slightly as she just chalked the whole thing up to her silly mother.  What a girl!

And, then Wesley's reply took me completely by surprise. "Oh, wow!" he said with enthusiasm, "We should tell call my mom and have her take a picture of me and you and Wade (his brother) like this too!"

I let out my bated breath in stifled laughter.  He wasn't horrified or about to tease her.  He was impressed.  I guess I dodged the bullet this time, but my beloved picture has to come down.

Epilogue
I sent an email with a link to this post to Wesley's mother.  She wrote this message back:
"That is too funny!  In fact, now it makes sense…When Wesley got home after his play date, I told him it was bath night and he said, 'Oh good, you have to take a "cute" picture of mine and Wade's butts side by side Mommy.'"

Flavor reconciliation

I used to hate the flavor of black licorice, and I mean hate, not dislike.

I hated it to the point where I had nightmares of being on the space shuttle and having nothing to eat but black licorice flavored ice cream.  I woke up with the taste in my mouth.

I hated it to the point where I spent years resenting one of my grandmothers for putting out such pretty pink, white, and purple candies that held such an evil flavor surprise hidden inside.  It seemed cruel.

My view of the black licorice flavor was changed this week when I bit into what I expected to be a root beer flavored jelly bean and discovered... shudder, it was actually coffee flavored.  I've had flavor shocks before when expecting yummy lemon and being unpleasantly surprised by nasty banana, but this was wretched.  This jelly bean did not belong in a jar of jelly bellies... unless it was those nasty Harry Potter ones they used to make.

I don't drink coffee.  I can't even force myself to sip one of those heavily flavored coffee drinks.  The smell of coffee during my pregnancies left me racing to the bathroom countless times.  Finding this flavor in a jelly bean was truly awful.

After that experience, black licorice seemed so innocuous in comparison that I thought I'd give it another chance.  I ate a black jelly bean.  It wasn't delicious, but it wasn't the evil beast I'd feared since childhood.   Since then I no longer pick through my handful of jelly beans under strong light for fear of mistaking a black for purple.  It used to be that I'd rid myself of the evil things the second I'd realize I had accidentally grabbed one.  Now, not only do I beeline for the trash immediately, but I've actually eaten some.

Who knew the Jelly Belly corporation, with their strongly misguided choice to make coffee flavored jelly beans, was changing lives?

Drama queen

I ran over the very edge of the curb just slightly while pulling out of a parking lot today. From the back seat, where Anna watched a movie and Luke slept soundly, Ally commented, "Ouch!"

Manners

This cracks me up. Anna was trying to be so grown-up and polite, using a phrase she'd evidently heard somewhere.

When I picked Anna up from the church nursery after Awana Wednesday, the woman working said, "Good bye, Anna. Thank you for playing with me. It was fun."

Before I could prompt her to say thank you back, Anna replied, "It was all your pleasure."