Food dye

Luke came out of his classroom after the Halloween Party today, held up his baggie of "Witches' Brew" and began pointing to the gummy worms, candy corn, and cherry sours and explaining , "These have food dye. And these have food dye. And even these have food dye." 

I asked, "Oh, how do you know that?" 

He told me that he had talked about it with Mrs. Koscielniak. I asked, "Is there someone in the class who can't have food dye?" 

"Just me and Ally," he replied. I told him it was okay to have it today, since it was a special occasion. He shook his head at me. 

Later, when we got home, he started talking about the food dye. So, again, I asked why Mrs. Koscielniak had talked about it. He said, "Me and Ally can't have food dye, because we can't die. Because you love us. Right?"

We discussed food dye a while and concluded it's okay to have if its a special treat.

After dinner, Luke and Ally were eating some of their Witches' Brew, and Ally dropped a cherry sour.  She said, "Oops, I dropped a food dye!"  Luke added, "Your food dye berry is even rolling away."

A while later, Luke said to Ally, "I like this food dye stuff!"

And Ally replied, "I lub food dye stuff.  I really, really lub it!"

Nightmares

Luke had a dream last night that there was a Jellyfish beetle in his bed.  Even this morning at breakfast, he was very insistent it was real

I think it would make a good name for a band.

Not real

Driving home from Awana Luke and Anna were talking in the backseat, when Luke told me he wanted to put some apples and peanut butter and chicken nuggets out and see if God eats them.

I told him that God doesn't need to eat, and he angrily shouted, "Then God's not real!"

Not to be a grinch, as I'm sure Dave will once again accuse me, but I have to wonder if this has to do with leaving milk and cookies for Santa, and I have to wonder again whether the whole Santa thing doesn't mess with kids' faith in God.

Ben X.

When I chaperoned the twins' field trip to the pumpkin farm, I got assigned to Luke and one of the Bens in his class, Ben X.

I got the boys onto the bus, and said, "Do you want to sit by the window, Ben?"

Luke said, "That's Ben X., Mommy!"

I said, "I know, honey, but his name is just Ben.  They call him Ben X. so he doesn't get confused with Ben M."

Luke said, "But his name is Ben X!"

"It's okay, Luke.  I know he's Ben X, but I'd bet at home they just call him Ben."

Luke looked a little exasperated, but didn't say anything more to me.  He climbed in next to his friend, took a long look at him, and said, "It's okay.   know you're Ben X."

Luke on the bus.  Ben X. was right beside him.

Costumes

Ron Weasley, best friend of Harry Potter

Pirate Luke

Super Anna

Fairy Princess Ballerina

And here are Anna's partner Super Dave and Pete the Cat!

Violin

She doesn't love to practice, but she seems to be understanding what she's learning.  

And she looks pretty darn cute playing the thing.

Ally's PT

About a year and a half ago, Ally was in physical therapy.  She adored her therapist, Kristin.  Ally, who was never comfortable when we'd leave her with, well, anyone, would have probably been fine if she had moved in with Kristin and never seen me again.  She "graduated" from PT about a year ago, but every few weeks when we drive past the building where she used to go, she'll ask, "When can I see Kristin!"

Driving home from Awana tonight, Anna was, again, talking about how she was going to marry Joey.  Tonight she wasn't concerned about holidays, she was worried that Joey didn't love Jesus.  She commented, "I'll teach him... because he's on the wrong path."  I cringed in the driver's seat and decided we'd have a talk when we got home.

Kate said she wouldn't have to deal with that and explained, "I'm going to marry a Christian."

And Ally, who'd been quiet up until then, piped in with , "I'm going to marry Kristin!"

Just a minute

I listened to Luke and Ally playing in their room as I folded laundry.  Luke had his Jake figurine say, “Elsa, come inside.  There’s going to be a bad snow storm!”  

And Elsa said, in Ally’s highest-pitched princess voice, “I can stay outside because the cold never bothered me anyway.”

I stifled a giggle at Ally’s use of Elsa’s famous song lyric in their narrative, and I continued to listen while I put their clothes away.

Elsa called for Jake to come outside and Jake told her, “Just a minute. I’m cleaning up.”

Kind of an odd storyline I thought, smiling to myself.  A little while later, Elsa told Jake to wait “just a minute.”

This time my stomach sunk as it dawned on me where they were getting the expression.  I realized how many times my kids must hear me tell them to wait “just a minute.”

And, sadly, things often come up and the minute becomes an hour or the thing I told them to wait for never even happens at all.

I've always had the philosophy that I don't want to sign my kids up for too many activities, because there is value in play that no structured activity can provide.  And I’ve always believed in the importance of my kids having downtime.

But, ironically, I haven’t applied this philosophy to my own life or to the activities I do with my kids.  I haven’t considered the value of me simply playing with them or the value of our downtime together.  So often I’m telling them to wait just a minute while I finish up something I’m doing.

Of course dinner has to be made and laundry has to be done, but there are a lot of things I busy myself with that aren’t necessary.  And many of the activities that take me away from the kids are things I think I’m doing for the kids.

Sometimes it’s a big craft project that takes me five times longer clean up than the time I actually spent doing it with them.  Or the homemade Halloween costumes that I spent days bonding with instead of my kids.  Or the hours upon hours I’ve spent distracted trying to plan the perfect birthday parties. 

These things may all seem like good things, but they’re not always what’s best for the kids, for me, or for our family.  These extra things often bring me stress, and they take me away from actually spending time with my kids.  

I’m working on prioritizing what’s most important.  I’m working on doing less so our time means more.

When it’s something that has to be done, I’m working on having the task wait “just a minute” instead of my kids.  I have been trying to put whatever I’m doing on hold for a little while, spend a few minutes doing what my kids asked me to do, and then come back to what has to get done.  The dishes won’t mind waiting a minute.  They (unfortunately) aren’t going anywhere.  And, I won’t have to feel guilty overhearing the plates having their toys tell each other  to“just a minute.”

I think so often I plan to get everything done first and then I’ll enjoy time with my kids, but “everything” will never be done.  I want my kids to learn patience, so it’s okay to make them wait sometimes, but I also want them to know how important they are to me.  I’m not sending them that message when they’re constantly being put after food preparation, house cleaning, and laundry.

My goal is to find ways to make the most of my time with my kids, because this time in our lives will be over in “just a minute.”

Where did you hear that?

"Don't do that," Ally joked to me, "or I'll shoot you in the head."

Whaaaaaaat?

I tried to be calm, so as not to give her a reaction that would encourage it.  "That's not a nice thing to say," I told her.

She said it again, later, and I told her more firmly that was not something we said.

Then, I calmly asked her, "Ally, where did you hear about shooting in the head?"

"Nowhere."

"Did you hear someone else say it? "

"No."

"Did someone at school say that?"

"No," she told me again.  And then she added, "It was my own decision."

Birds, bees, and surgeries

It's always been my philosophy to answer any of the kids questions about sex openly and honestly.

Last week Anna had asked me about how a person knows she's going to be pregnant.  "Is it when she turns a certain age?"

 So, I reminded her again that it takes a woman's egg and a man's sperm and they have to go together.

"Oh, yeah," she said, remembering, "and the boy's sperm gets to the egg when he..." scrunching up her nose, "puts his penis in her vagina."  More nose scrunching.

"Yep," I said, "So, if someone doesn't want to get pregnant, then the best way is not to do that."

"So..." she said, thinking, and then giggling, "did you and Daddy do that to get me?"

I explained that it didn't work when Daddy and I tried to have babies, so we had to have a doctor help us put the egg and the sperm together.

She wanted to know how the doctor got the egg.  I was incredibly glad she asked about the egg!

So, I told her he had to do a little surgery to take out some eggs.

She asked if it hurt, and I said it did hurt a for a while, but it was definitely worth it.

A few days later, we were driving to the store when Anna makes a declaration, "I'm just hoping that the other thing will works, the penis thing, because I don't want to have to have surgery!"

Proper pumpkin farm attire

Ally got herself dressed for their K4 fieldtrip to the pumpkin farm this morning.  She was wearing nothing but a leotard and fairy wings.  It was about 51 degrees, rainy, and inevitably going to be very muddy, but Ally knew none of that mattered.

Because, as she declared, "I will be the beauuuutifulest at the pumpkin farm!"

 After a few hours of feeling cold around the house, I talked her into slipping some jeans and a shirt over the leotard and leaving the wings behind.

My big four-year-old

Very early Sunday morning at the cottage, just after 1 am, I awoke to screaming.  I ran upstairs and grabbed Luke, bringing him down to the bathroom.  He hadn't made it in time.  So, I consoled him as I stripped him naked, and then carried him upstairs to find some new pajamas.

I searched the poorly organized drawers until I located a pair of foots.  I put them on him.  They were getting a little tight which reminded me that a friend had dropped off a bag of hand-me-down 4T footies the day before.  As I plopped him back into bed, I peeked at the tag of the ones he was wearing.  "2T," I said, giving him a hug.

He looked at me, sleepily, and asked, "Does 2T mean 'it fits you every time'?"

"It does for you, Buddy."

Kate's heart

Kate and Luke were eating breakfast and I was cleaning the kitchen.  Anna had gone up to get dressed.  She came back down and told me she couldn't find her winter dresses.  

"They're in your closet," I told her, "look again."

"I mean the one with the pink on top."

"Oh, and the black polka dots on the bottom?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Oh, that's in Ally's closet.  It doesn't fit you."

"But I wore it in K5!"

"Yes, honey, but it's a 5T.  It's too small.  Go find a different one."

She glared at me, like it was my fault the dress was too small.  Then she looked like she was going to cry, and she went upstairs.

"That's mine!" Kate exclaimed when Anna returned.

I looked, and it was definitely Kate's dress.  The sleeves were a good five inches too long.  I prepared myself for the beginning of the infamous sister fights over clothes.  I started to explain that Anna might be able to borrow Kate's dresses, but she has to ask her first, and maybe offer to do her a favor or something.

Anna said, "But, it was on my side [of the closet]!"

"I don't know where the divider went," Kate told her,  "so I put it where I thought it was on my side!"

Anna began to cry.  She threw her arms around my waste and buried her head in my belly.

"Okay, Anna, you can wear it," Kate said, "It looks really nice with your hair."

Anna smiled weakly, thanked Kate, and went to pack her backpack.

I was baffled; I am baffled.  This generosity.  I mean, if it were me, I very likely wouldn't have let my sister borrow it at all.  If I had, I'm sure I would have said something closer to a begrudging, "Fine!  Just wear it then."  

Even now, as a thirty-eight-year-old who considers herself to have evolved, if a comparable situation occurred, I probably would say a nice, "Oh, no problem; you can wear it."  But, she added on a compliment.  My goodness!  I wouldn't even have thought to add on a compliment!

Last weekend, I opened my email to discover a message from Kate's teacher.  It said, 

Kristal and Dave,
I just had to write to you and let you know how impressed I have been with Kate during the start of the school year. I'm sure you are aware -- but academically she is quiet impressive in all areas. She is doing a wonderful job grasping these difficult math concepts of variables, division and word problems etc. But Kate has also caught my eye for being a truly gentle, kind and compassionate friend. At least once a day I catch her quietly helping a friend. Just this week she ever so innocently left a little birthday note/token for a friend on the friend's desk. I just had to tell you that I'm really enjoying getting to know her as a person and a student.

She is truly a gift from God.  I don't deserve such an incredible kid.  I can tell you, she did not get this kindness from me.

My life is full of blessings.  It's overwhelming.

That's Anna

My sister recently mentioned that Anna's consistent use of the word "British" to mean Jewish made her feel better about her almost-four-year-old always calling breakfast "dinner."  And I thought, Oh, you don't know the half of it!  Anna used to use any word she thought sounded good if she couldn't think of the right word.  She didn't seem to even try for the right word.  I always thought it was amusing, if not a little weird.

The use of her own words slowly diminished the more she was in school, and she doesn't do it nearly as much as she used to.  I was trying to think of a good example, but I couldn't.  Until this morning.

I was giving her a quick bath before school, washing her hair with our shower attachment.  As I wrapped her in her towel, she commented, "I feel like I was just in a tarantula."

"A tarantula is a big spider. Do you mean a torrential downpour?"

"No"

"Do you mean a hurricane?  A monsoon?"

"No, I mean like a waterfall," and then she said it,  "Mommy, in my world, 'tarantula' means like a waterfall but faster."


"In my world..."  That seems about right.

Recent "Oh, Anna" moments

Anna had her friend Cheyanne over Tuesday.  They were making some paper pumpkins, and here's the conversation I overheard:

Anna - Do you think Joey celebrates Halloween?

Cheyanne - Yeah, I think so.

Anna - Because he's Hannukah, you know; he's British.

Cheyanne - Yeah, I know, but I think he celebrates Halloween

I have, after six months, given up explaining that it's not "British," it's "Jewish."

So, in the car last night, Anna was once again discussing how things will work in her marriage with Joey.

Anna - Mom, there was just one thing I was worried about for when Joey and I get married.  He celebrates different holidays that I do.  But, I figured it out.  The girls can celebrate my holidays and the boys can celebrate the British holidays.

Kate - No, Anna; I have another idea.  I have a friend at school whose mom and dad are different religions, and she celebrates the Jewish and the Christian holidays.

Anna - Oh, I like that.  I'll tell Joey about Jesus, and I'll tell him about Santa Claus.  He is really going to like Santa Claus.


That last statement... 

New word

"Mom," Ally said while eating lunch in her party dress before heading off to school, "I'm not hungry for my sandwich anymore because I'm eating my six 'seed grapes,' but I know a new word."

I looked at her, waiting.

"It's WE-sess.  Weee-SESS!  It means 'going outside.' WECESS!" she said with a big smile.

Why a party dress, you may be wondering...
Because every day is a good day for a party dress.

Gross butter

I was making Dave and BLT and making the twins peanut butter and jelly.

Luke said, "Oh, can I have one of those kind of breads with some of that gross butter?"

I said, "You mean toast?  You want toast with butter."

"No, I want that gross butter," he said pointing to the mayonnaise, "I like that gross butter."