I wish I could "come with a disclaimer," something along the lines of this:
I haven't had time to write all the thank you notes I want to write, although I'm grateful on a daily basis for everyone's dinners and gifts. I do mean to call my friends, and, although I haven't, I am thinking of them often. I even pick up the phone occasionally... right before one (or two... or three) of my kids start to cry or whine for me.
But I barely have time to feed and change diapers on the twins without the other crying for attention, not to mention my other two daughters. If there's a spare moment, I feel obligated to throw dishes into the dishwasher, for fear of rodents, or run a load of laundry to the basement, before all our clothes end up dirty. When I'm alone with the kids, I feel like there's not even close to enough of me for the four of them. If Dave's home, I try to grab a little extra sleep to add to my usual four hours a night, just so I don't wind up collapsing. At the end of most days, I don't even remember the beginning of them.
I want my friends and family to know that I don't mean to be a recluse, that I miss them, and that I hope I'll someday get things together enough to be a good friend back to them.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Due date
Today is my due date. The babies are 3 weeks and 6 days old. They've been growing wonderfully, and they each weigh over 7 pounds already.
Happy due date, Luke and Ally. We're glad we didn't have to wait until today to meet you!
Happy due date, Luke and Ally. We're glad we didn't have to wait until today to meet you!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
This and that
I have been, understandably, getting behind with this blog since the twins were born. There are a few things I really wanted to get on here but didn't have a chance to give a proper post. So, I'm just going to use this post to note a bunch of them:
Not two M's
A few weeks ago, Anna was playing with her set of wooden letters. She picked out one of her favorite letters, an M, and said, "This an M!" I said, "Yep, that is an M." Then she grabbed a W, upside down, and said, "Two M's." I said, "That looks like an M, but..." I flipped it over, "it's actually a W." Anna thought for a second, and with a mysterious smirk, flipped her M upside down and, laughing, said, "Two W's!"
The babies are out
In the hospital, Anna wasn't allowed to visit the twins in the NICU because she was too young, so she stayed with me in the hospital room while Dave took Kate and my mom down to see them. While Anna and I were cuddling, Anna said, "Why you belly not so big?" I explained that the babies had come out of my belly. She looked surprised and took a moment to look all around the room. After that, she looked back at me with a raised eyebrow, as if to ask, "You expect me to believe that?"
When it came time to bring the twins home, the girls were over at a friends house. When Dave and I came with the babies to pick them up, Anna kept saying she wanted to touch the babies. We explained they were her babies, and they were coming home with us. After we got settled in the car and were backing out of the driveway, Anna exclaimed, "The babies are out of you belly, Mama!" We told her she was right and asked if she could see the babies from her carseat. Reverting back to all the months of referring to them as "the boy" and "the girl," she excitedly declared, "I see the boy!"
Diaper change
The first day the twins were home, Kate was watching me change their diapers. She smiled at the babies and, evidently reflecting on all the fits she's watched Anna throw over having her diaper changed, reflected, "Luke and Ally so good with diaper changes, and they're so young. Anna is almost two and a half!"
Pregnancy vocabulary
The last few weeks of my pregnancy, I was in a perpectual state of discomfort which led to frustration and crabbiness. In this state, I evidently let out a curse word a couple times. My first day home, I was up in the bedroom nursing the twins when Dave came up and relayed this story to me. Anna was driving her Jessie doll around the playroom when she had Jessie crash. Anna, in Jessie's voice, yelled out, "Dammit."
Holding the babies
When Anna wants to hold one of the babies, she'll say, "I made a yap [lap] for Awy" or "I made a yap for Yuke."
Not two M's
A few weeks ago, Anna was playing with her set of wooden letters. She picked out one of her favorite letters, an M, and said, "This an M!" I said, "Yep, that is an M." Then she grabbed a W, upside down, and said, "Two M's." I said, "That looks like an M, but..." I flipped it over, "it's actually a W." Anna thought for a second, and with a mysterious smirk, flipped her M upside down and, laughing, said, "Two W's!"
The babies are out
In the hospital, Anna wasn't allowed to visit the twins in the NICU because she was too young, so she stayed with me in the hospital room while Dave took Kate and my mom down to see them. While Anna and I were cuddling, Anna said, "Why you belly not so big?" I explained that the babies had come out of my belly. She looked surprised and took a moment to look all around the room. After that, she looked back at me with a raised eyebrow, as if to ask, "You expect me to believe that?"
When it came time to bring the twins home, the girls were over at a friends house. When Dave and I came with the babies to pick them up, Anna kept saying she wanted to touch the babies. We explained they were her babies, and they were coming home with us. After we got settled in the car and were backing out of the driveway, Anna exclaimed, "The babies are out of you belly, Mama!" We told her she was right and asked if she could see the babies from her carseat. Reverting back to all the months of referring to them as "the boy" and "the girl," she excitedly declared, "I see the boy!"
Diaper change
The first day the twins were home, Kate was watching me change their diapers. She smiled at the babies and, evidently reflecting on all the fits she's watched Anna throw over having her diaper changed, reflected, "Luke and Ally so good with diaper changes, and they're so young. Anna is almost two and a half!"
Pregnancy vocabulary
The last few weeks of my pregnancy, I was in a perpectual state of discomfort which led to frustration and crabbiness. In this state, I evidently let out a curse word a couple times. My first day home, I was up in the bedroom nursing the twins when Dave came up and relayed this story to me. Anna was driving her Jessie doll around the playroom when she had Jessie crash. Anna, in Jessie's voice, yelled out, "Dammit."
Holding the babies
When Anna wants to hold one of the babies, she'll say, "I made a yap [lap] for Awy" or "I made a yap for Yuke."
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Yummy Tomatoes
One week before I delivered, the girls, armed with their garden baskets, and I with just my camera braved the mosquitoes in the garden to try to pick some cherry tomatoes to have with dinner. Kate kept adding to Anna’s basket, because she kept observing Anna didn’t have many tomatoes. Finally, when it was time to go in, Kate noticed that there was nothing in Anna’s basket except for her Jessie doll. Anna had eaten every tomato she picked along with every tomato Kate had put in her basket!
Have babies. Will travel...
...to Mequon. That's the limit to how far I'll travel. Mequon, 10 minutes north of our home.
Yesterday I had a plan. I really wanted my grandma in Sheboygan to meet the twins, and, since Kate and Anna are at Dave's parents' house, I thought today would be the perfect time to make the 50 minute trip up there. I figured while I was at it, I could also take my mother out for lunch for her birthday, which was yesterday. And, I'd return Mollie's maternity clothes to her while I was in Sheboygan, as well.
My mom was a little surprised when I told her I was coming. She reminded me of the difficulties I had traveling with Anna as a baby. I assured her that both babies are really easy so far. They do eat often, but they rarely cry. Ally is so much easier than Anna, and Luke is the easiest of any of our kids. We'd be fine.
So, this morning, I packed up the diaper bag, then loaded the trunk with some things I wanted to bring my grandma, and shoved the big tub of maternity clothes between the front and middle row seats.
We headed off at 12:11, amazingly running only one minute behind to meet my parents at 1:00. Four minutes later, Ally was crying, and Luke was beginning to fuss. At 12:21, I called my mom and told her I was exiting the highway to try to offer the babies a bottle.
I pulled over at a gas station, parked in the shade, grabbed the little cooler with the bottles, and climbed through the back doors. I squished myself between Kate and Anna's car seats in the back row of seats and reached forward to the middle row to try to give the bottles to the babies. As I screwed the nipples onto the bottles, both babies cried harder, their little heads bobbing at awkward angles with their screams, since the car seats force them to sit up way too tall for their oversized heads.
Neither baby would take the bottles, since they were cold. Since Luke was crying hardest at the time, I manipulated his little curled up arms out of the straps of his car seat and removed him to nurse him. As I did so, Ally's crying escalated into complete hysterics, the likes of which she's never come close in her life. I tried to coax her into taking the bottle, but her little head kept bobbing forward, making it impossible for her to suck, even if she decided to take the cold milk. I balanced Luke in my right arm and unstrapped Ally by reaching with my left hand. Then I tried to pull her forward into a more comfortable position. This just resulted in her being more hunched over, her head falling practically onto her knees.
After Luke had nursed about five minutes, enough that I figured it would take the edge of the hunger, I put him back in his car seat and took Ally out. Since she can't yet nurse without the nipple shield, I tried to reach the front seat for the bag so I could get it, but I couldn't reach while I held her. I decided to try the bottle once again. She started to take some of it, about the same time Luke launched into the most hysterical cries of his lifetime.
I realized I hadn't burped him, so I propped Ally's bottle with my cheek and reached my right arm into his car seat to sit him forward a little, hoping he'd be able to burp. He instead flopped around, like the two week old he is. I just had to let him cry while Ally took her bottle. Halfway through, she let out an explosive poop, which was forceful enough I could hear it over Luke's wails. I cut her off, halfway through her bottle, and burped her. Then I lay her in the back row seat, which is angled so that her head was lower than her body, which she hated. As she started to compete with Luke's screams, I maneuvered my way to the front, reaching over the tub of clothes to grab the diapers. As I returned, I heard Luke poop. I quickly changed Ally, then, only banging my head once, got her back into her seat. I offered her the pacifier, but she couldn't hold it and scream, so it fell on her stomach. I then picked up Luke, and, as I burped him, I watched Ally get her baby finger stuck in a hole of the pacifier and repeatedly banged herself in the face with it.
After Luke burped, I changed him, and replaced him in his seat to join Ally in crying. I decided there was nothing to do but drive. That might calm them down.
I climbed in front of Luke's seat and pulled on the door handle. The door didn't open. Sweating, I pulled again and again. That's when I realized the child safety locks were the reason the door wouldn't open. I repositioned myself and attempted to climb over the tub into the front seat, but I couldn't. I debated about taking a huge, Chinese splits-like step, but thought better of it considering my episiotomy 15 days ago. Finally, I just flung myself over the tub, landing head first in the front seat.
I pulled myself up to a seated position and then grabbed my phone to call my mom and tell them to have a nice lunch without me.
Yesterday I had a plan. I really wanted my grandma in Sheboygan to meet the twins, and, since Kate and Anna are at Dave's parents' house, I thought today would be the perfect time to make the 50 minute trip up there. I figured while I was at it, I could also take my mother out for lunch for her birthday, which was yesterday. And, I'd return Mollie's maternity clothes to her while I was in Sheboygan, as well.
My mom was a little surprised when I told her I was coming. She reminded me of the difficulties I had traveling with Anna as a baby. I assured her that both babies are really easy so far. They do eat often, but they rarely cry. Ally is so much easier than Anna, and Luke is the easiest of any of our kids. We'd be fine.
So, this morning, I packed up the diaper bag, then loaded the trunk with some things I wanted to bring my grandma, and shoved the big tub of maternity clothes between the front and middle row seats.
We headed off at 12:11, amazingly running only one minute behind to meet my parents at 1:00. Four minutes later, Ally was crying, and Luke was beginning to fuss. At 12:21, I called my mom and told her I was exiting the highway to try to offer the babies a bottle.
I pulled over at a gas station, parked in the shade, grabbed the little cooler with the bottles, and climbed through the back doors. I squished myself between Kate and Anna's car seats in the back row of seats and reached forward to the middle row to try to give the bottles to the babies. As I screwed the nipples onto the bottles, both babies cried harder, their little heads bobbing at awkward angles with their screams, since the car seats force them to sit up way too tall for their oversized heads.
Neither baby would take the bottles, since they were cold. Since Luke was crying hardest at the time, I manipulated his little curled up arms out of the straps of his car seat and removed him to nurse him. As I did so, Ally's crying escalated into complete hysterics, the likes of which she's never come close in her life. I tried to coax her into taking the bottle, but her little head kept bobbing forward, making it impossible for her to suck, even if she decided to take the cold milk. I balanced Luke in my right arm and unstrapped Ally by reaching with my left hand. Then I tried to pull her forward into a more comfortable position. This just resulted in her being more hunched over, her head falling practically onto her knees.
After Luke had nursed about five minutes, enough that I figured it would take the edge of the hunger, I put him back in his car seat and took Ally out. Since she can't yet nurse without the nipple shield, I tried to reach the front seat for the bag so I could get it, but I couldn't reach while I held her. I decided to try the bottle once again. She started to take some of it, about the same time Luke launched into the most hysterical cries of his lifetime.
I realized I hadn't burped him, so I propped Ally's bottle with my cheek and reached my right arm into his car seat to sit him forward a little, hoping he'd be able to burp. He instead flopped around, like the two week old he is. I just had to let him cry while Ally took her bottle. Halfway through, she let out an explosive poop, which was forceful enough I could hear it over Luke's wails. I cut her off, halfway through her bottle, and burped her. Then I lay her in the back row seat, which is angled so that her head was lower than her body, which she hated. As she started to compete with Luke's screams, I maneuvered my way to the front, reaching over the tub of clothes to grab the diapers. As I returned, I heard Luke poop. I quickly changed Ally, then, only banging my head once, got her back into her seat. I offered her the pacifier, but she couldn't hold it and scream, so it fell on her stomach. I then picked up Luke, and, as I burped him, I watched Ally get her baby finger stuck in a hole of the pacifier and repeatedly banged herself in the face with it.
After Luke burped, I changed him, and replaced him in his seat to join Ally in crying. I decided there was nothing to do but drive. That might calm them down.
I climbed in front of Luke's seat and pulled on the door handle. The door didn't open. Sweating, I pulled again and again. That's when I realized the child safety locks were the reason the door wouldn't open. I repositioned myself and attempted to climb over the tub into the front seat, but I couldn't. I debated about taking a huge, Chinese splits-like step, but thought better of it considering my episiotomy 15 days ago. Finally, I just flung myself over the tub, landing head first in the front seat.
I pulled myself up to a seated position and then grabbed my phone to call my mom and tell them to have a nice lunch without me.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Post-partum
For the most part, I feel amazing. Dave thinks that may be in part a testament to just how badly I felt pregnant. I've felt so good that I've tried not to let the few things that are uncomfortable bother me. I even went on the slip-and-slide with the girls yesterday, less than 12 days after I delivered! Apparently, though, I haven't been able to hide all the discomforts completely. Sunday night at dinner, Kate prayed, "Thank you, God, for this day. Thank you for this food. Please help Mommy's breasts to feel better."
NOT Two-and-a-half
Anna turned two-and-a-half-years-old yesterday. Because we were without power for over 14 hours, the poor girl did not get what has become the tradition, a half-cake. Instead, the frazzled mother of four here gave her a cone filled with some half melted icecream with candles balancing precariously on top.
I'm not sure if the poor excuse for a celebration is the reason behind it, but Anna is completely opposed to being two-and-a-half. She argues with us that she's just two, and the first thing she said to Dave this morning was, "Maybe I'll just be two. Wouldn't that be fun?"
I'm not sure if the poor excuse for a celebration is the reason behind it, but Anna is completely opposed to being two-and-a-half. She argues with us that she's just two, and the first thing she said to Dave this morning was, "Maybe I'll just be two. Wouldn't that be fun?"
As part of the celebration, I took Anna over to the school yard, where she did a great job climbing up a wobbly chain ladder. When she got to the top, I exclaimed, "You did it!" She confidently replied, "I sure am did it!"
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Already?
I set Luke down and, sighing, mumbled something like, "Girls..." From the other room Anna yelled, "Sorry, Mama." I said it was no problem and cleaned it up.
A few minutes later, I was thinking more about how the tube had gotten covered back up, and wondered if Anna had done that or if Kate had helped. I asked Kate, "Who stepped on the Aquaphor?" Kate answered, "I didn't." All of the sudden, Anna piped in with, "My didn't," and, pointing to the swaddled newborn in the bouncy seat, added, "Awy [Ally] did it."
Ally did it.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Welcome Home!
Lucas David
Born July 28, 2010 at 6:58pm
Weighing 5 pounds 11 ounces, 18.5 inches long
Alison Paige
Born July 28, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Weighing 5 pounds, 9 ounces, 18.5 inches long
We're so glad to have you home!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)